Make the McKenzie Connection!
Make the McKenzie Connection!
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I am wondering if this is fair? I work and my employment benefits include life insurance. My husband came to watch me sign him as beneficiary. He then took out family insurance through his bank and showed me a page of the insurance form stating if he dies I am his beneficiary. Later I heard him on the phone with his daughter telling her she and her brother were his beneficiaries. They are grown and married, with well-paying jobs. Is this fair? When I asked him about this, he said it was not...
I am writing from the UK to thank you for the first bit of advice that has ever made sense to me. I have lived for many years with a "good" man who has provided me financial security and the sort of life I dreamed of living. Unfortunately, I knew that although I cared about him and we had similar interests and life values, I didn't truly love him. I spent the best part of 20 years trying to make this marriage work. I perfected the art of being a wife, mother, and lover. The truth, though, was...
I interviewed for an executive assistant position with a new company. The job involves working for three of the company's vice-presidents. After I was chosen I was asked to come in and sign an offer letter. The human relations manager told me vacation time was negotiable. The offer gave me two weeks after 90 days. I asked for three. The human relations manager then spoke to the senior vice-president, a man who is to be my direct supervisor. When he questioned her, he asked if she told me two...
Tom and I have been in a relationship for well over a year. We're very much in love, and we've discussed moving in together more than a few times. We are both 19-year-old college students, have no siblings, and come from single-parent homes. My mother and I have a reasonably strong relationship; our family is devoutly Catholic. Although I was raised to share the same values as my mother, Tom and I have put a lot of thought into moving in together, and we are currently trying to rent a...
I am a 34-year-old, single, college-educated woman, but honestly, I feel clueless when it comes to love. I've had lots of relationships in the last six months. That's when men start professing their love, and I find a reason to run. I had one relationship that lasted five years, mainly because he was a professional athlete. I'm ashamed to admit I would have stayed with him just because of what he did for a living and the exciting lifestyle he provided. Even then, I cheated twice. No matter how g...
I am the oldest of three kids. I am 28, and my brothers are 24 and 16. I wish I could say the years of sibling rivalry are over, but I'd be lying if I did. My 24-year-old brother still lives at home. We used to get along, but things changed when he turned 16. He developed a violent temper that was directed only toward me. It started with the typical bickering from any brother and sister and evolved into cursing, name-calling, and insults. That further evolved into spitting on me, throwing food...
I'm 27. I've been seeing a married man for three years. I am madly in love and cannot imagine losing him even though I don't have him all to myself now. Every time I've had enough of this tortured relationship and am ready to leave, something happens to keep us closely involved. It is strange. He's been married for 10 years and promised to leave his wife for the last year. Well, about three months ago she found out about us and threatened to call me out at work. Yes, we work together too. There...
I'm in my mid-30s, with a huge problem concerning an ex-girlfriend. This girl I loved and still do. There was a horrible breakup. I haven't spoken to her in a year, but not a day goes by I don't think of her. The breakup was due to my lack of commitment. She wanted marriage and children, and I dragged my feet. We were only together a year and a half, but she wanted to speed things along and I just could not give her what she wanted. After we parted we remained friends. We hung out or went out to...
I am divorced with two grown daughters in their 20s. Both my ex and I are remarried. He lives in a distant city. Both daughters are married, and one has two boys and the other one boy. My problem is the lack of interest my ex-husband shows in his daughters. My youngest daughter is getting her master's degree and invited her dad to come to her graduation. Also, she bought a new house two years ago and has a little boy, neither of which he has seen. Her invitation to the graduation was greeted...
I am single, attractive, and 42. For the last decade, I've been a personal assistant to the managing director of my company. He and I have a very good relationship which is essential in this kind of role. When his marriage of 25 years broke down, he was loathe to discuss it with family or friends. Our good working relationship and confidentiality paved the way for him to turn to me for advice and support. I was happy to provide it as he has been a good friend to me. Nothing sexual has ever...
I've been dating my boyfriend for two years. When our relationship began, I was completely dedicated to him, and he was a complete jerk who fooled around with me more than three times. We both realized it was because we never communicated. Since then we've become best friends and built a strong relationship. However he ogles other women while I'm with him, and it hurts. During one of the times we were broken up, he allowed me to read his journal which explained what he thinks about when he...
I am 22 and the oldest of four children. I have a brother, 17, who is the second oldest. He's been in a "committed relationship" with a girl, also 17, for over two years. However, he is currently speaking on the phone with other girls and going on dates with them. Once a school friend told my brother's girlfriend he was seeing another girl. My brother's girlfriend came to my house, took my brother to the other girl's house, and confronted them both. My brother denied everything and painted...
I recently moved in with a man. We were friends for three years, then we fell in love. We now live together and have two cats. He is the love of my life: wonderful, kind, and caring. He is truly my best friend. The cats are his babies. I love cats, too, but have one problem. The problem is in the bedroom. These cats run the house, climb on the countertops, and lay on the kitchen table. I can live with that, but he thinks they should always be allowed in the bedroom and the door should not be...
My father is estranged from my sister and me. When we were very young, he and my mother divorced. He did not pay child support or anything. Recently he came back into town and wants a relationship with us. He says he's changed. He says he is a Christian. He wants to get to know my sister and me better and be allowed to share in his grandchildren's lives. As my sister and I are getting used to the idea of giving him a second chance, he admits to all of us that he cheated on our mother repeatedly...
I am 25, and my father was an alcoholic all my life until two years ago. My older brother is an alcoholic in denial. He's a sweet guy but, even when sober, can be snappy. I'm worried because I don't want to go through what my mum has gone through. Her brother is an alcoholic, and she is responsible for him even now. My younger brother seems okay, but I'm scared something will happen to him as well. I love my family and have taken a lot of their baggage and put it upon myself. I remember my...
I'm in a five-month-old long-distance relationship. Of those five months, we have spent a total of 15 days together spread over a two-month period. As in all relationships, it was wonderful in the beginning. We spent long hours on the phone getting to know each other and catching up on what was going on in each other's lives. About two months ago I noticed his calls were not as frequent as they used to be. He says it's because he's busy. I accept this because I know his job is demanding, but...
My husband had two affairs last year. I am pretty confident he is not cheating now, and we are seeing a marriage counselor. He has changed much since I found out what he was doing. He put our property in my name and bought me a $12,000 diamond ring. He is affectionate to me most of the time. I believe this is proof that he loves me. The problem is I also have proof that he does not love me because he had affairs. So I have proof he loves me and proof he does not love me. Our marriage counselor...
I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married a wonderful man who will be 48 on his next birthday. I love him very, very much. The only problem is our sex life is horrible. Pretty much nonexistent. I can safely say we have had sex maybe 20 times in our six-year relationship. When I've tried numerous times to talk to him, he gets defensive and says, "There's nothing wrong with me." He also says, if I want to have sex, I should just say so. But when I make advances, he pushes me away thinking I...
Our daughter is 27 and has a severe alcohol problem. The last two years have been nightmarish. At last she is in a flat so we have a peaceful home, although my husband and I still brace ourselves waiting to hear of an accident or some other tragedy involving our daughter. Thank God she has no children. The pattern has deteriorated into her drinking 11 or 12 days and then being hospitalized when her body can’t take any more and she goes into withdrawal. We take her to hospital as she has fits w...
Last Friday night I was caught with another woman by my girlfriend. When my longtime girlfriend came to my house, I told her I was going to bed early. She suspected something and came back to find this woman in my house. We had been cheating for about a year. The other woman didn't know either. My girlfriend had a fit. She cursed me up and down and told me she wanted to hit me. After about 30 minutes of that, she left. On the way out she keyed my car. Then the other lady had her say. Mostly she...
I've known my best friend for six years. Initially, I thought she was a great person who was there for me in times of crisis. As time went by I noticed she was very competitive with others, and then I saw she was most competitive with me. She will ask what I am wearing, then wear something shorter or more low-cut. She sees me in something, then buys that exact item. She copies phrases I say and repeats facts from me and claims them as her own. When we were in college, she constantly tried to one...
My husband and I moved very fast to get married. On my end, I was lost and lonely after my former fiancé was killed in an accident. I wanted to be close to someone again. I dated my husband 12 months after my fiancé's death, and six months later, we were married. That was ten months ago. I was never a "must be in a relationship" type of woman. But I was unfortunate after losing my fiancé and having to let go of the dreams I had for our life together. I believe this is why I jumped so qu...
I am 36 and exclusively dating someone, 41, for almost a year now. I feel, given our age, we should have enough experience to know whether we would like to pursue a serious relationship. When I ask my boyfriend about a future commitment, which means he wants me in his future and is committed to making it work, his response is, "Let's take it slow." Frankly, I don't know how much slower I can take it. I am not insinuating marriage or even living together. I would like to know if he is committed t...
Ihave been married to a wonderfully grounded woman for nine years, and we have two young children. The problem? My mother-in-law lives from crisis to crisis. She claims to have a "plan," but it is always wrong, and my wife and I are constantly picking up the pieces. A one-year experiment of her living with us became a stressful five-year stay. We are financially stable, but our oldest child is a special needs child who is draining our financial resources at a healthy clip. When our second child...
I am sitting here so unsure of what to do anymore. I've never asked anyone for help of this type, as many people come to me for answers. I am a social worker and my husband is a psychologist. We should have the answers, but we just don't. We have been married 10 years and have an 8-year-old daughter. The problem as I see it is my husband refuses to help out at home. He will not do anything associated with domestic work. He does not mow the lawn. What he does is work a full-time job, play music i...
