Make the McKenzie Connection!
Make the McKenzie Connection!
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I have a mother who is constantly yelling at me for the smallest things, regardless of whether or not it is my fault. She tells me how hopeless I am, even though I get really good grades and excel in all my extracurricular activities. Whenever I defend myself, she tells me I have an attitude problem. She puts words in my mouth and denies anything she ever did wrong. She told me she is going to kick me out of the house because she thought I was rebellious. She doesn't even know what that means...
I am concerned about my daughter, "Julie." She is 16 and a junior in high school. She gets fair grades, doesn't get into a lot of trouble, and doesn't smoke or do drugs as far as I know. Why the concern, you ask? It's the way she dresses. Julie likes to wear baggy pants, T-shirts with rock band logos, skull and crossbones, or phrases such as "Psycho." She wears chains and studs on her pants, wrists, and neck. Ninety percent of her clothes are black. Just two weeks ago she cut her gorgeous,...
Fourteen years ago I was divorced from my second wife, her idea. I'll call her Kay. But I never lost my love for her. She married again and had two children. We always remained friends, however, my new wife could not relate to that, so contact via any manner was limited. Kay divorced again about four years ago, and my wife just passed away recently. Kay sent her condolences and that has led to a meeting for coffee shortly. First, I feel guilty because my wife's passing is not even a month old,...
I work in a factory, and we have supervisors who play favorites. They have about six girls who can do no wrong, and they have easier jobs than the rest of us. These girls go out after work to bars, and that is why they are in with the supervisors. The boss over these supervisors will not do anything because his boss is the father of one of these supervisors. So long as “Daddy boss” is still there, this boss will not do anything. One girl played around and made the machinery malfunction for an...
I am just out of high school, and I have come to realize what I want is completely out of my family's standards. I come from an Indian family, where the standards are extremely high. Like in most Indian families, I am expected to become a doctor or engineer. To please them, I followed a course in high school for science and mathematics. I did reasonably well, considering the toughness of the course, and everyone expected me to continue on this path. However, I met a wonderful man who is a teache...
I have an unexpected relationship problem. It's hard to believe it has become such an issue but it has. The whole thing started very innocently when my boyfriend and I were watching some silly action movie. The female heroine was kicking butt, and I mentioned to my boyfriend I took a semester's worth of judo classes in college and could probably give him a run for his money. I was half joking. I didn't think I could beat him. He has a pretty significant weight advantage over me and is an...
I have been married for a little over seven years, with one 2-year-old son and another on the way. Over time, I believe my wife and I have grown apart. Sexually, we never connected. Before our marriage, I thought we had a good connection, but three days after the wedding, she told me being married did not obligate her to sleep with me. I suppose this is true, but I found it heartbreaking. I asked what changed. She said she didn't enjoy sex. I feel she misled me until after the wedding when she...
My sister is a woman now beginning her thirties. She has had few friends and her boyfriends have never been good for her. Now she has finally found a man who adores her. They had an affair nine years back when he was twice her age and still married. My sister ended the affair, and he separated from his wife. When my sister contacted him this spring, he finalized the divorce and they became a couple. His marriage, which was arranged by his church, was never happy. His parents and his children...
I'm attracted to my manager. He was the one who showed his interest to me first by complimenting me and making wonderful eye contact. He is single and one year younger than me. Until today he only asked me out one time and that was when a close friend of ours also attended the dinner and we had so much fun. Indeed I never gave him enough opportunity to approach closer because I was not sure if this was wise in terms of office ethics. He has a good reputation in my company for his character,...
I am a forty-something teacher. I recently bought a house, and given that I'm a single woman, I have a huge burden to carry financially. To counter those expenses, I put out an ad for two university students. As a result, I have two twenty-something young men living with me. One of my "roommates" is pilfering things. I know he uses my facial cleanser and cotton swabs. I like to keep a store of food handy because I live in an area with ice storms, and he helps himself to my edible dry goods....
My sister and I are very close, and we don't keep things from one another. Recently she shared with me concerns about her sex life, or lack thereof. She feels like there is something wrong with her because her husband is not attracted to her. They have been married for 15 years. A couple of weeks ago I was on the Internet and highlighted my brother-in-law's name to send him a message. Well, when I did a box appeared, and it stated where he was online. At first, it said he was in a bisexual...
I am 32 and a mom with two children. I’ve pretty much been single for two years. My problem is I found myself falling for my son’s teacher. I never saw a ring on his finger, so last school year I made every attempt to visit my son’s school as often as I could. Eventually, I took the chicken’s way out and emailed this man and told him how I felt. He replied that he was flattered, that we could remain friends, and that he was my child’s teacher. I emailed back saying I didn’t know what I was...
I have three grown children. My elderly father, six younger brothers, and a large extended family live in the old country. The last time I took my children for a family visit was 15 years ago. The reason I have not gone back is because my youngest brother, who was 21 at the time, “fell in love” with my 13-year-old daughter. It was hell time for me because I had to watch my child 24 hours a day so my brother would leave her alone. I had no support from my parents. My mother blamed my 13-...
I don’t know whether to call it jealousy or insecurity. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. Last year at my husband’s surprise birthday party, one of my friends asked who a certain woman in the room was. When I asked why, she said, “She and your husband have been making eye contact all night, and he seems to be paying her a lot of attention.” From there on, I started watching the behavior between them. My husband participates in a sport with this woman’s husband, and at times...
I don’t drive and have health problems. I have a friend who runs an under-the-table errand service. She is one of my closest friends, so I rely on her. I always give her sufficient money for her time, and she has helped me out in many situations. There have been two times in a row where she has blown me off. Both times she was to take me to a doctor's appointment. The first time she did not call me in advance as she always did, so I called her. She said, “I can’t talk. I’m running out the doo...
Back when I was in grammar school, every once in awhile I would meet up with a girl my age and talk. Lisa never was around much, but she was always very sweet and nice. In 5th grade, she was assigned to my class. She was absent a lot, and one day I had the courage to ask why. She told me she was sick, and she explained she wore a wig because her medicine made her lose her hair. We left it at that. Anytime Lisa came to class--a rarity--I would hang with her on the playground. I received much ridi...
I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies. I want to send the photos to him so his family can have them. I have an old address for his parents. However, I don't want to send them by post with my address on the back of the envelope because I do not want any contact from him or his parents, nor for them to...
My boyfriend's daughter (I'll call her Mary) got married six months ago. She is 19 and pregnant. My boyfriend (I'll call him John) didn't go to the wedding because he disapproved of her husband and the marriage. The reason he gave for not attending was it would make him a hypocrite in front of his other children if he went. This caused a huge rift between John and Mary, and they have not spoken since the wedding. Before this, they were very close, talking almost every day. Mary's baby is due...
I am a stay-at-home mom, 24, married to my husband, 26, for six years. He has a problem chatting with young girls online. I have "caught" him numerous times, and it's always the same thing. He's sorry and says it's only a game to him, but he continues to do it. He works with a high school program and knows these girls in real life. I've recorded his conversations, and they are very disturbing. He likes the attention, and for some reason teenage girls are attracted to him, never mind he's 10...
I am writing for advice on a personal dilemma of the most personal nature. I am male, mid-40s, married 20 years. After all these years, I still long to make love to my wife two or three times per week, while she seems to prefer two or three times per year, if ever. Best I can tell, she no longer enjoys making love whatsoever and hasn't for the last 10 years. While all this seems dismal, the problem I am seeking advice on is more a moral issue. First, let me make sure you know that I have been...
I am a 31-year-old virgin male. At times, I feel sexually frustrated because I've never been intimate with a woman. The only experience I ever had was a nice French kiss in high school. I'm overweight and don't see myself as worthy of a relationship as I am. But after years of neglect and ignoring myself, I am now making changes to my health, which will improve my self-image. I am not attracted to men. If I see a woman on the street I find attractive, I see someone who might be a good person, a...
I am a 26-year-old escort, in the business on and off since I was 14. I have a tendency to get involved in very bad relationships. The men I go out with are usually abusive with substance abuse problems, and generally, I end up supporting them. I don't have many friends because it seems people only deal with me because they are trying to use me. I've worked regular jobs, attended some college, and also got my real estate license. I wasn't happy being "square" and am not happy now, but I can't af...
I have been married for two years, with stepsons aged 18 and 16. Either their parents did not know what table manners are, or they decided it was not important for the boys to learn. Last night I made an elegant candlelit dinner for Mardi Gras, including several appetizers and desserts. I invited my mother-in-law as well. When it came time for dinner, I felt like I was eating with Neanderthals. The boys, including my husband, dived at the buffet like wolves at a fresh kill. I told them next...
My mother and I are in yet another silent period. Again, it is her choice. She is 70 and I am 48. Mother and I were reminiscing, and the conversation to that point was pleasant. When I was a child, we had a caretaker with a distinctive cry for my brothers. I mimicked her cry, and mom and I both laughed. Suddenly, the tide turned as if I stabbed my mom with a knife. It all has to do with mom’s mother. She died when mom was nine, and after this my mom’s life was tough, going from home to hom...
I like the blatantly honest answers you give in your columns and website. In brief, I am 44, married 22 years, and contemplating divorce, but hindered by the fact I vowed to go through better or worse with him. A promise is a promise, and a vow is a vow, right? My husband shows me complete disrespect by ridiculing all my requests. When I ask him politely not to leave x, y, and z laying around, he says it's my wifely duty to take care of him. I am tired of getting up when he needs a beer or this...
