Direct Answers

I feel I'm dreaming. I met him in Courmayeur in the Alps one night. If it wasn't for my devastatingly drunk girlfriend, I would never have met the love of my life. While I was in the lady's room, she screamed and cursed some guy at the bar.

When I returned, my friend was invited to calm down and have a seat. Amongst the table, there he was with three of his friends. He lives in the States. Perfect! He's single, even better! We left the bar with everyone, singing at the top of the world.

For the next few days, my girlfriend complained I was glowing so much it made her sick. I needed to return to Milan before going back to New York where I currently reside. But not for long. I visited his hometown, Chicago, and fell in love. I am moving to Chicago regardless because I don't want to live in New York anymore.

My business is flexible and I am able to relocate. We want to move in together. I am going to Chicago next weekend to hunt for an apartment. There is absolutely no doubt reflecting from any side whatsoever. Should I worry? It's funny, I'm something of a worrywart. Can this be normal? I'm in love!

Felicia

Felicia, we take you at your word, trusting that you have not left out any obvious problem like he's a bigamist with six children!

You never know how things will unfold. What if moving to Chicago is absolutely the right thing to do, but this man only lasts three months? Sometimes we are not aware of what our deeper purpose is, not aware of the real meaning of events.

Wayne & Tamara

Recognizing The Enemy

I was ready to be married, but due to his career, my fiancé was not. After a bad breakup, we had little or no contact for four years.

Two years ago we began dating again, and it's been rocky the entire time. I tried to lay down some boundaries in the beginning, and he interpreted it as controlling. Recently I confirmed he has been seeing someone else for over a year.

When I confronted him, he reacted with anger and defiance and said it was my fault. She is always nice, and since I brought up his cheating, it makes me the bad person. When I first suspected him, I asked if he wanted us to date, other people. He did not want me dating anyone else.

Now he says, under current conditions, he doesn't want to date me but still wants contact. I tried that but the subject of sex always comes up. He says the reason we aren't getting married is I won't be an unconditional friend. He claims that is the basis for any marriage.

It hurts terribly that he could walk away from us and still want to be friendly. How can I be kind when he has broken my heart? How can I stop comparing myself to this other woman? She seems to be close to perfect from his perspective. It's hard to measure up to perfection.

Sierra

Sierra put the blame where it belongs. On him. If you don't, you will spend the rest of your life competing with every woman on the planet.

I am always amazed that women blame the other woman when the real problem is the man. It's like trying to fix a car by changing the wrong tire, the one which isn't flat. Your problem is not with this other woman. Your problem is him.

Someone cheated on you, lied to you, and made you feel bad. You want to call that love. If that is love, then what do you call the relationship which nurtures you, supports you, and inspires you? You want to call it "love" because right now he is all you have.

Wayne