Foresight

I'm 27 and my husband is 41. We've been together since I was 18 and he was 32. I got pregnant when I was 21, then we got married. I knew I never wanted to be with him forever. When I was walking down the aisle, I said to myself, "I can always get a divorce." Little did I know it wouldn't be that easy.

Now we have two wonderful kids. He makes good money, and I get to stay home. We have a nice lifestyle. The problem is he makes me sick. I do not love him and do not want to be with him anymore.

We have nothing in common, and he is not a very intelligent person. He is illiterate. He is not kind to others. He's good with the kids but does and says things in front of them that should not be said or done. I don't want to waste any more time in this marriage. I want to leave, but I don't want to take the good life away from my kids.

I feel bad leaving him because I don't think he deserves to have everything taken from him, but having sex with him makes me ill. I don't let him kiss or touch me. I make him get it over with as quickly as possible. He works offshore and is away more than he is home. I think that's the only reason I've made it this long.

I got married because I was pregnant, and I was ashamed. Please give me your thoughts.

Brianna

Brianna, 1400 years ago, when China was ruled by the Sui dynasty, soothsayers in the imperial capital predicted that the emperor would be overthrown by someone named Li. A popular song even repeated that theme. This caused the emperor to persecute officials named Li. Some of them he even murdered.

Meanwhile, north of the capital, there was a military garrison commanded by another Li. Again and again, Li's son urged him to revolt and attack the emperor before the emperor could attack them. At last, the father agreed, and father and son marched south with their army to overthrow the Sui. And so a prophecy was fulfilled, and a man named Li seized the throne.

Your marriage was also a self-fulfilling prophecy. You married a man who could provide for you, but he is a man you do not love. Now the marriage may end, and you may need to go to work. Like the last Sui emperor, you have brought ruin upon yourself. It's impossible to live with a person who makes you physically sick, but once you have children with them, you will be bound to them for the rest of your life.

Wayne & Tamara

Wayne & Tamara are the authors of Cheating in a Nutshell and The Young Woman’s Guide to Older Men—available from Amazon, iTunes, and booksellers everywhere.